The Illusion of Missing: Finding Presence in Absence

The ache of missing someone, the longing for their presence, can feel like an insurmountable void. We replay memories,cling to photographs, and yearn for a time when they were still here. But what if this sense of missing, this yearning for what is no longer present, is simply another manifestation of the threat response?

When we lose someone we love, our nervous system experiences a profound disruption. The familiar cues of safety and connection are suddenly absent, triggering a sense of fear and insecurity. We feel lost, adrift in a world that no longer makes sense.

In response to this threat, we create stories. We tell ourselves that we will never be happy again, that we are incomplete without them, that life has lost its meaning. These stories, while understandable, keep us trapped in a cycle of grief and longing.

But what if we were to let go of these stories? What if we were to recognize that the feeling of missing someone is not a permanent state, but a temporary response to a perceived threat?

The truth is, there is nothing to miss. The essence of our loved ones, the love we shared, the memories we created, are not lost. They are woven into the fabric of our being, imprinted on our hearts and minds.

When we are at ease, when the threat response subsides, we can access these memories with gratitude and love, without the sting of longing or regret. We can feel their presence in the gentle breeze, hear their laughter in the rustling leaves, and see their smile in the warmth of the sun.

This is not to deny the pain of loss. It is to recognize that our loved ones are not gone; they have simply transformed.Their physical presence may be absent, but their essence lives on in the interconnectedness of all things.

By letting go of the stories and returning to the present moment, we can experience a deeper connection to those we have lost. We can feel their love and support, not as a distant memory, but as a living presence within us.

So, let go of the longing, the yearning, the sense of something missing. Embrace the fullness of the moment, with all its beauty and its pain. For it is in this embrace that we find true healing, true connection, and the enduring love that transcends time and space.